A Brief Reflection into the Hood… Motherhood that is

March 17, 2018

Here we are Four months in to motherhood. Four months into my maternity/parental leave. Four months into our new “normal”. I Love it, I’m 110% obsessed with this sweet boy of mine, and I love that I am fortunate enough to take this time and fully dedicate it to being a mother; but man has my life changed.

A friend recently asked me “how’s a going” and I responded that things were good and gave a brief little highlight of Benen and I’s day. To which they replied and asked “how’s it going other than family life?” and I was legitimately stumped on how to answer such a simple question. Family life is my life. Nurturing and raising a tiny human is almost all I know right now, almost my entire life…I’m currently 100% immersed in this season that is my life. This kind of thing happens a lot, people will ask how are things? how was your week, what did you get up to? Half the time I’m scratching my head like ‘Holy smokes how is it already Friday again!?’ What did I do all week? It can be overwhelmingly unsettling, being someone who has always been so purposely go-go-go. The things is, I’m still “go-go-go” Its just different; different priorities, different goals, different worries, a different, but honorable way to spend my time. I’ve come to realize that it’s okay to no longer totally relate to some aspects of that previous version of my self, and loved ones. One day far to soon for my liking, this tiny little babe won’t need me as much, and we’ll both evolve and explore different versions of ourselves. So for now I’m going soak it in, go with the flow, stay immersed, and experience this stage in all its glory… er mundaneness, lets just call it motherhood. I just needed to reflect and remind myself that I’m still me, I’m not boring, and I have a purposeful new layer to my identity: mother.

I was Naïve prior to becoming a mother, not in a bad way or anything, just kind of blissfully, innocently naïve. I’m obviously no expert just four months in… but motherhood, from what I know thus far; is something that you just don’t quite grasp and understand until your in it, living it, breathing it, day in, day out, 24/7 for eternity.

I feel so grateful for my mama friends old and new who get it, who get me out of the house doing activities with our babes, to chat and relate to; but also grateful for my friends who aren’t parents (yet) but love on our little man as if they were. Additionally thankful for family who are willing to hang out with our sweet little man, so I can indulge in some independent ‘self care’, and lastly grateful to Josh who wishes he could be home all day with us, who is equally as tired as I am, but works so hard, and then comes home and loves on us and engages me in the meaningful adult conversation that I crave. After all, it takes a village right?!

So here we are, four short months in, forever to go. Going with the flow, learning, evolving and immersing my self into this season; even when it makes it harder to relate to pieces of life before baby and in turn letting that go.

“Everything has changed and yet, I am more me than I’ve ever been.” – Iain Thomas

Marisa