Now I'm in limbo, I have this week off to soak up time with my sweet boy, and dedicate some time to my online breastfeeding course before I nervously but excitedly start my new adventure next week. Next week I'll  officially be a BCIT student and start my first clinical experience down Island. I'll commute back and forth in between my rotation sets for the next month and a half. Then I will complete my specialty experience at our local hospital and go from there.

Shout out to Josh for being my number one fan as per usual and showing me 110% support for our family and to make this dream a reality-- team work makes the dreams work ! <3

The transition has been going fairly smoothly. It’s certainly a change of pace, but welcoming to utilize my brain in a different way, help people and engage in adult conversations again. Reuniting and seeing his smiley face at the end of the day though, is hands down the best part. Subsequently, the time that we do get to spend together now, before and after work and on days off, is extra meaningful. We’re all slowly figuring out new routines through trial and error and have determined that night time organization is key for a successful morning hustle.

It’s Benen’s first halloween today; and I remember I was so hopeful that his first Halloween would have been in 2017 mostly because I was physically uncomfortable and fully excited to meet our babe. Nevertheless he was comfy and stayed put until November 10th… and his first Halloween is today. He dressed up as a pumpkin; the exact same pumpkin costume that I wore on my first Halloween when I was his age minus a few days. I’m not usually the sentimental type; but that’s pretty special!

We’re currently trying to tackle sleep—for the past few nights 11:30 pm seems like an appropriate time to wake up and be extremely alert, restless and hysterical until almost 02:00 and even then never entirely settling. This is kind of new… typically he likes to eat and then head straight back into dreamland… so we’re playing around with nap times and different strategies, drinking all the coffee and basically sending up flares #SOS.

The past two weeks have been busy and full. Fall is upon us in full force. The house is chilly in the mornings and evenings; slippers are now an essential at all times. It is also getting so dark… its SO much harder to get up and function before the sun is up. All the leaves have fallen off of the backyard tree, the grass is luscious and green again from all the rain, and the rain jackets and boots are now a staple– out for easy access. Additionally we’ve swapped out portable fans for portable space heaters and brought out the autumn décor. Fall on Vancouver Island—It’s not horrible.

But THEN I felt his body go heavy as he slipped into deep sleep. I felt him inhale and exhale on my chest. His right ear down and tiny mouth gaping open—his ‘soo soo’ loosely hanging in. His arms slackly draped around my body. Both of us content. THIS is what I never want to forget; the memory of it alone right now makes me teary and it was only last night. Babies don’t keep and that’s a fact.