Benen Edward Visser

November 10th 2017 was by far the best day of my life (thus far), on this day we got to finally meet our sweet baby BOY! As I sit down and write this, that sweet little boy is sleeping peacefully beside me, and I can’t help but continue to just stare at him; still in such awe that he is here and that he is a he.

Up until our due date I felt calm cool and collected about the impending birth of our babe, but as our due date came and went I began to feel anxious with each passing day. Those final few weeks of pregnancy were by far the toughest, mainly due to that mental game, and my impatience…and a little due to the physical discomforts that come with the final weeks of pregnancy. Everyone one.. and I mean everyone has ideas and suggestions and things that they swear by to induce labor. I think I tried just about everything… its most likely all bologna, but “A” for effort. I’ve been told that baby’s come when they’re good and ready, and I guess our little man was nice and cozy.

On November 8th I went to my scheduled Midwife appointment, my blood pressure was slightly elevated, but everything else was good, baby was comfy and I was encouraged to be patient. As the afternoon went on I began to develop a terrible migraine; I’d been so lucky and avoided a doozie since my second trimester. I struggled through my scheduled acupuncture appointment and chiropractic appointments (all to help induce labor) before it started to really progress into a full blown migraine, and I became terrified that I would have to labor with a migraine… seriously my nightmare. I got home that afternoon and put my self to bed in a dark room and hoped for the best. Josh got home from work with Chinese food… (a request I had put in earlier in the day because it had coincidentally induced labor for a friend of a friend). By nine pm the searing pain became too much, and I asked Josh to call our midwife and update her on my status. Our Midwife suggested we come into the hospital just to be safe and get everything checked out, so off we went. After a full work up, non stress test, and some IV gravol and fluids, we made our way back home to get some sleep, with a plan to return for one more non stress test the following day. Both baby and I were safe, the fluids had made me feel a little better and we were exhausted.

I feel like I had just fallen into a deep sleep when I suddenly awoke to my first contraction at 2:47 am. There was no mistaken… this was no Braxton hick shenanigans. My migraine had subsided to a dull ache and I was so excited. I tried to remain calm.. (I even refrained from waking Josh up) and somewhat fell back asleep until the next one came at approximately 3:15 am. They continued to come every half hour or so and lasted for about 10-15 seconds. When Josh’s alarm went off for work, I giddily told him that we might possibly get to meet our baby today. We spent the morning eating our favorite treats from our favorite little bakery, watched some Netflix and attempted to rest. By the time we were en-route to the hospital for our follow up non stress test contractions were about 6 minutes apart and still only lasting about 10-15 seconds. My contractions reflected on the non stress test, this was legitimate, we were in early labor! We spent the rest of the day trying to distract ourselves, we went grocery shopping, delivered starbucks to Grammy at work, rested, and talked excitedly about what our baby would be like.

Our lovely midwife came by the house in the early evening to check on our progress, I was completely effaced and about 3 cm dilated. She told us to keep up the good work and to call when things started to really pick up and intensify. The next few hours were spent at home, I attempted to eat for energy purposes, had a bath, bounced on my exercise ball.. A LOT. The exercise ball was my best friend during labor; I even took it into our ensuite bathroom shower stall at one point… the ball expanded and covered the drain when sitting on it... which caused the shower to start filling up with water... which caused Josh to panic with towels. It worked though, for about forty minutes; I just had to stand up between contractions. Things started to really intensify, contractions were about 2-3 minutes apart and lasting 45-60 seconds long. Josh called our midwife again at about 10:30pm. She came back to our house, and labored with us at home for about another hour before we transferred to the hospital.

The 10ish minute drive to the hospital with strong contractions every 2-3 minutes was awful. We arrived and made the excruciatingly long walk from the ER up to the maternity unit; stopping every couple minutes to rock and sway and get through a contraction in the hallway. Just before midnight we had finally made it up through security, and our amazing midwife was already filling up the tub for me as we got settled in our room. I got into the tub almost immediately and labored there with Josh by my side for a couple hours, the contractions were long and intense; my body working hard to bring our sweet babe earth side. Just when I thought things couldn’t get more intense, they did. I was overcome by an uncontrollable urge to push. In between contractions, my team assisted me out of the tub and over to the bed, I think we all thought we were nearing the transitional phases of labor, I got excited that although things were intense we would get to meet our baby soon. My cervix was checked and I was informed  that I was 7 cm dilated. I had a cervical lip, that baby was getting stuck on, and each contraction growing stronger and stronger I could no longer fight that undeniable urge to push, despite being told that I couldn’t. I felt so out of control. I was given a mask for nitrous oxide (laughing gas) and was told to focus on breathing through each contraction and resisting the irresistible urge to push. Something way easier said than done. The gas made me feel woozy, Josh put his forehead against mine, (my rock truly) and helped me breathe through those agonizing contractions. As a team we went through and discussed some different options. We decided to first try an epidural, to allow baby to passively move into a better position and give me an opportunity to rest.

The anesthetist was called, and as we waited, I continued to breathe in the nitrous oxide while Josh coached me through each contraction. I suddenly felt extremely nauseas, and I notified the room.  Unfortunately it wasn’t nearly enough notice and I projectile vomited an entire tropi-kale booster juice (that Josh had previously forced me to drink, in order to have energy) all over our amazing nurse. I was MORTIFIED. She was a champ though and was gone and back in a minute flat with brand new scrubs on. * A week after Benen’s birth we returned to the unit to give that same rock star nurse a thank-you card and booster juice gift card, with a recommendation to try the tropi-kale as it tasted just as good coming back up*  By 4:00 am I was feeling some much needed relief, and managed a couple bites of a grape popsicle and attempted to rest. At 5:00 we decided to do another assessment and this time my midwife was able to push against the cervical lip, and gently assist and maneuver baby’s head through while I assisted by pushing in between contractions (thank goodness for that epidural!).  In between each contraction, Josh offered me water, words of encouragement, told me how proud he was of me, and then geared his poor hand up for the next one.

After 47 minutes, at 6:22 am on November 10th our beautiful baby was born. He was delivered right to my chest. I was in AWE, happy tears leaking down my face, Josh’s smile so big it could light up the world. No words could ever describe that feeling, that moment. After hearing those perfect first cry’s and squeaks, and audible breath sounds I realized I still didn’t know if baby was a boy or a girl; and fervently scrambled through the blankets to look.

“IT’S A BOY” more happy tears, more awe, more love all around. Josh proudly went out into the waiting room where our wonderful entire family was waiting (all night… since we’d arrived at the hospital at midnight! Such troopers!) to announce our happy news, even more tears, more awe, more love. Our room flooded with our family anxiously meeting our sweet boy, their new, and first, grandson, and nephew on both sides.

Benen Edward Visser, all 8lbs and 11 ounces and 53 inches of you were absolutely perfect. Right from the get go you had beautiful red hair, and bright eyes (they’re blue right now, I hope you get to keep them, just like your daddy’s). You were alert, and seemingly just in awe of us as we were (and still are) with you. We constantly just stare at you, memorizing your face, smiling at your sweet facial expressions and audible coo’s. Your fur brother Sully instantly adored you, and ran proudly through the house with your hospital hat that first night. Josh jokes that he’s surrounded by gingers, and I’m outnumbered by you boys. Your name translates to kind, and I hope that you grow up to be just that sweet boy. I can’t wait to watch you learn and grow, and guide us through this new adventure called parenthood. Thank you for choosing me to be your mama. I love you forever.

Xo Mom.